A letter to you

Hi,

I think its time that i say good bye to you. 

Because hanging on to the memory of you, is not something fun. 

Kita tak boleh kawan kan? Sebab nanti, i will want to reach out to u every second bcs i really need a friend. I know u have been avoiding me. Uve been replying my texts days later or even better, blue ticked. Moreover, im the one who is still sibuk sibuk texting u but in reality, we had nothing in common to talk about pun. Lets be real, i know we will not be communicating each other after this because why should u? Plus, as ive said, my instincts usually dont let me down, they always vibe me the truth. Why cant u just tell me the truth? I can handle truths rather than silence or being ignored. I am someone who likes closure. It will help me to not think about it. I hope that you can give me that. Even though it hurts. 

Thank you for the past 7 months. I dont think this meant anything to you, but you helped me get through rough times during those 7 months. Thank you for listening to my problems & whining. The timing was perfect bcs my dad left me the exact time we became friends.

“I am not servants to my emotions. I can Control them.  Suppress them. Stomp them out like bugs”

How lucky i am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to. It is painful to say goodbye to someone you dont want to let go. See this is exactly what i meant when we departed, we can never stay friends after Celcom, i really wanted to believe ur “org ada lg la, tk pergi mana mana pun” tu, but heyy hello. Reality kicks in, no u will not 😅

Even we cant be friends in the end, i am glad that you were a part of my journey. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, for texting you & everything. I really am.  Frankly speaking, i reaalllyyyy dont want to loose you. i really dont have friends who supports me & who actually would listen to my problems without judging me & a friend who really believed in me & see me vulnerable tapi still give me advice elok elok tanpa marah marah or perli. 😭. 

& tak stayed away. I know u will think im a freak. If u know how many times i gave up myself, lama dah jauhkan diri. Like literally i gave up, i failed everyone. I really dont see what is the purpose of me being in this world, if i keep failing everyone.

I know skrg pon ya, u are avoiding me kan? sorry. but i cant help it, my mind & my feelings really cant take it. i lost my place to confide. I just need someone to talk to. I dont have that now. Sorrryyy sgt sgt sbb ckp ni semua. But i really think that i should. If not ianya akan terpendam in my heart forever. i dont want to regret any of it. U r the best friend i never had. 

All the best in your new workplace. i hope that you succeed in life & sorry sgt sgt for intervening ur life & thank you for everything. 😚🤗😭