CHAPTER I : The Confession

"they did not want to befriends with me, you did"

"they judged me, you did not"

"they stayed away from me, you did not"

"you listened when no one ever wanted to, you were there" 

i don't need to list down for all the things he has done for me. All the small gestures even though it has only been months that I know him. Liking him who already has someone is totally wrong and crazy. Even though this information has never really comes out from his lips, I just wish I want him to know how I feel. 

Whether he may like me back or not, reason why I want to tell him, getting my feelings off of my chest will help me to move on.

It is perfectly okay and very reasonable, i think.

i miss having him around.

i miss all the conversations we had on our way back home.

i miss our hanging spot at the station.

i miss crying myself out while hugging him, i felt relieved.

i miss his "okay tak tu?"

most important, i miss him.

I know it is silly for saying all these. Maybe it is just a temporary feeling that I have for him.

Risking our friendship will be consequences of telling him my feelings,and I think it's worth it. I know it would not be the same after this,he might act awkwardly or worst, avoid me.

It’s very possible that he won’t have the same feelings for me that I have for him. I have think about the worst case scenario so that I feel prepared and won’t be taken by surprise. If I do choose to tell him, I am proud for putting myself out there and telling him how I feel, it is what was best for me. Maybe in time, the feeling will fade away. Time will tell.

I don't expect him to respond, and it is okay. After admitting my feelings, I’ll likely feel much more free to move on. If it is possible, I'd really like it if we could still be friends but I know that will never happen. We don't exactly have the reason to be contacting each other. It has always been me who asked for his time.

I have thousands things to say to him and a thousands reasons not to. 
What will happen, I do not predict the future. I hope this decision that I made (??) is good for me.